Dear unborn

Dear unborn,

I daily watch as you expand my tummy into a circus ball. It might interest you to know that people have been touching and some going to the extent of kissing my belly. I hope you are not in any way offended by that. I have felt your heartbeat on numerous occasions and every time they melt my heart with joy and pride. I’m carrying life inside of me, which is more than enough reason to celebrate. I can feel your kicks too; they are painful but I’m happy you are alive and kicking, literally. Last night you kicked so hard it scared daddy off his tough skin. He says you’ll probably play hockey like him, I don’t know how true that is but whether you play the violin, cello, paint or sing as long as you do it to the best of your ability am fine with it.

You love chocolates and chicken; I know you will be as sweet with an eye for the finer things in life. I can’t begin to tell you how  I’ve been counting days as I await the day I will hold you in my arms and gaze into your sparkling white googly eyes; at least part of my jig-saw would be complete. I long to see your chubby face, silky soft skin and that toothless grin. These past few weeks, you have become a constant factor in my dreams. I keep seeing your cuddly image and your smile is the most beautiful and adorable thing I have seen in a long time. I have not gone for an ultrasound though. I want you to be the best surprise life has to offer me. However, deep inside I want you to be a girl so I can dress you like a princess and we would have all those random girl moments to the ice-cream parlor or the shopping mall but I would also want you to be a boy so you would take care of your siblings and the rest of the family after we are long gone.

Your rent free stay in the luxurious compartment with spa like conditions will be disrupted after the ninth month. Drama will start unfolding. You will receive your first spanking on your little behind from the nurses who will hold you upside down. Mine will come later with a cooking stick and red Bata slippers.  You will notice the crowd smiling and laughing as you cry. We live in a crazy place but don’t worry you will learn about it when you become of age and have kids of your own.

Bringing you up won’t be easy but I promise to do my very best to give you a good life. I promise to give you the best money and love can offer. I shall take you to the best schools. That is the best inheritance I can leave you with besides, education is power and no one can steal it from you. School aside; I vow not to make life boring, so we shall have detours to the park, walk barefoot, bask in the sun, have our faces painted and take millions of photos to preserve our sacred moments. I shall build our own small paradise in this big bad world.  Grab our best memories and store them in a jar. Guard them jealously because you will need them when you feel at your lowest. I know we would have low moments and our relationship may seem strained but never forget that I will always love you.

My child, life doesn’t have a manual. I will only guide you in the direction my parents (your grandparents) taught me. I will help you to a given extend, their after you will have to stand on your own and find a bearing. There is no “right” way of living but one thing am sure of is that you will always meet people of different caliber. Some will discourage you, others will encourage you, others will hate you and some will equally love you. No matter the situation learn to distinguish the good from the bad. I know you will be able to counter your fears and tribulations so I won’t worry much.

Dear one, every day as I go to sleep, I ask God to gives you the strength and the perfect co-ordinates in your journey through life. I might not be around to see you grow into a fully-fledged adult but know that I will always watch over you.

Yours, Mummy.