It started with the lights being on and escalated into a mini argument. Wait, let me rephrase that. I felt like brewing a strong concoction of trouble, am not a trouble maker just to make I clear but if you count the number of times I piss off my siblings then yes, am a trouble maker, a good one at that. Trying to compare my trouble making skills with any of them is like trying to compare the sexual appeal of Liam Hemsworth and Mr. Bean, insane, right? Drama had not followed me for a while and I was getting really bored with all that peace business – pun highly intended.

It was getting rather late, knock out time to be precise, so it went without saying that my malicious rendezvous ghad to be postponed to the next day. Feeling disappointed, I dragged my tired and lazy bones to the bedroom. My night vision has never been in tip top condition, so it was only natural and logical that I switch on the lights, do my business and tuck in for the much needed rest.

“Hurry up with the lights, will you? We were deep in slumber land before you decided to rudely disrupt our little haven.” She said with a rather irritated and commanding voice.

Then, voilà! A brilliant idea sprang up in my head. Why don’t I just annoy them with the lights? – this people hated lights in a nocturnal kind of way, so yes that was such a genius idea. Ooh, by them I mean my elder sister and nephew. We shared a bedroom and they had left for bed earlier than me. I’m always the last to sleep, this explains a lot considering I was born in the dead of the night.

I took my time to change into my jammies that consisted of an old T-shirt and sweat pants, nothing fancy. I then proceeded to annoyingly put one two three things in place making sure I spent the most time while at it. The baby had been sleeping for a while and my switching on the lights and the movement in the room had made him a bit restless. He started wriggling around and let out a few wimpy cries but that did not bother me, it in fact gave me the adrenaline rush I so badly desired. All along, I could feel her piercing eyes throwing daggers behind my back. That thought in itself gave my efforts a thumbs up. *insert an evil laugh*. I was in for annoyance and I had just fulfilled my heart wrenching desire. She looked at me with disgust, sighed and went back to sleep. One man down! I repeat, one man down. I gave myself a pat on the back, plopped in my bed triumphantly and went to sleep. Mission accomplished.

Soon, it was morning. The mood was pensive and a little bit stale despite the cool breeze from Mount Elgon and the rhythmic and melodic chirping of the early birds. She had woken up earlier and gone about her duties silently which was so unlike her. I watched her from the corners of my eyes and noticed she was avoiding contact with me. She was avoiding any form of verbal or physical contact. In an attempt to make a peace offering, I brushed shoulders with her once or twice on the corridor as we went about our chores and only earned death stares as a result so I gave up.

I went about my chores and in a bid to make myself appear extremely busy and useful, I settled on thorough cleaning. the number one go to place had to be our bedroom. The place was in bad shape and I assured myself that it would look like something out of a home makeover magazine once done to my preferred satisfaction. That was enough peace offering to last me a year, so I thought. Sweep, sweep, sweep the broom went as I sneezed in response to the rising dust that had since accumulated from I don’t know when. At least I was a peace doing something with all my heart, something that seldom happens. There were tons of things under those beds; shoes, clothes, combs, money name them. The place was much roomier than I thought. The innocent and harmless me pushed everything under the beds for sorting and organizing and maybe cleaning later on. I went about my work with a million songs in my head. The humming and coughing were so synchronized that I wished I was in some high end studio producing my ‘hit’ single. Then she walked in.

Her eyes spoke volumes of frustration and her hands clenched into a fist in a bid to hold her anger down and behave like the mature one. Her new shoes and some of her clothes were peacefully lying in the dusty crump that was beautifying the center of the room. The look on my face must have been neither comical and carefree or she was just being plain dramatic and paranoid. Either way, she snapped, got overwhelmed with emotions and burst out into a frenzy of words that consisted mostly of insults. I tried to raise my voice to match hers but I was just an exercise in futility. The only thing I could comfortably do was cry. I wanted to hold them down but the just couldn’t be controlled beyond their backs, so I let them flow. You may be wondering where my annoying skills had gone to, but I guess everyone has a soft spot and that was mine. I’m not much of a talker,  more action oriented *wink*. Like that saying “actions speak louder than words” yeah, I’m cool just like that.

There was so much I wanted to say to her but couldn’t get through. She was good with words I tell you. Despite all that, I was relieved that she did not attempt to hit my gorgeous body with the weapons at her disposal (read shoes, broom and clothes). I don’t think I would have lived with that embarrassment.

The owner of the house, the one and only Masakha Trenk, son of Terrence ‘Trenk’ Mukinginyi got wind of the ongoing activities in his house. I had never seen him filled with rage my entire life. Talk of pleasant painful surprises. He came panting like a wounded lion and the mother of all wars took place. Calling it world war three is an understatement punishable by law. Kiboko kilitembea wacha tu

#WCW

Just Rants

So that day you gave him some cash and almost immediately work sprung up in Nairobi and he had to go. The next thing you saw, was him hanging out in KFC!!, KFC for crying out loud. Come on darling ‘broke’ people go to Altona not some fancy up market eatery. Oh wait, point of correction, broke people go to mama Atieno’s food kiosk, Altona is way too expensive. The worst part of it is when he came back narrating to you how his date with that other girl went. Coming to think of it, has he even taken you on an actual date?

Has he ever asked you how your day was? Can he even call? Or what he does is just send you some “please call me’s” and you smile sheepishly as you dial his number. Does he know your middle name, your fears, your strengths, weaknesses, ambitions and what note? Is he aware that cancer scared you out of your skin last month? Has he seen the pain in your eyes the past few days or what he does is just drown you  in himself, himself and more of himself? Is he even your friend in the first place? Just because he manages to steal some ‘babe “this “babe “that doesn’t mean anything to him. It’s just a word anyway.

He has no respect for you in the sense that he picks phone calls, answers text messages and visits social sites when you are around him. He does so without excusing himself; the last time I checked, phones were meant for our convenience not the person on the other end, unless you were a Gyna or a fire man. Which, clearly he is not. So you think he’ll fall for you just because you bail him out. Mmmhh Babe, it doesn’t work like that. Just because you take his shit, doesn’t mean he will do the same for you sweetheart. He will just suck the life out of you.

His talk is all so mixed up. This guy is a scum.  He is not so straight with you.  Today he says he wants to get ‘serious’ with you and the next day he says the only thing he wants is a fuck mate; little girl , have you been reduced to that? (The way I know you, I know it hurt so bad; He threw daggers at you but somehow you still entertain him.) You claim to cling on him because you think he has gorgeous eyes and a cute smile, but I know it’s because you are afraid of losing him and going back to the drawing board means that you have to start another perilous journey towards this thing called ‘love’. I don’t understand how your heart works jeez.

For a while you dint considered yourself worthy, then he came in and showed interest somehow. You are afraid of being left alone, but if you ask me, you are dating yourself. So accept and move on sweety. Ooh, need I remind you how you spent the last 20 something years just to find yourself? don’t waste any more time just to learn to understand and accommodate anyone else. The past few months have seen you change for him, you have been playing different roles and lost yourself in the process.( I don’t understand you anymore.) Do you have to lose your mind –again so you can find yourself?

Don’t close your heart too soon too. God is testing your patience, after all he doesn’t give us more than we can handle; he knows you are up to the challenge. But if you ask me sweetheart, just move one. Something’s are just not worth the wait. The world is a big place, you will just find another homo sapien who will love and treat you as per your worth.

Ooh, before I forget, Yester night I saw him with another girl, they were all over the place.  He told you he would be working late, dint he? Ooh and he had all this cash and was making it rain. Did he also tell you he was broke and asked for some kind of soft loan? Now you know darling. He has dragged you into the mud but you still can’t see it. Wake up and smell the coffee.

But, don’t you worry darling. He will re-live his mistakes wake up from limbo and discover that he lost a gem while scratching garbage.

Go where you are celebrated not tolerated

Twisted in the wind

“Given a chance would he still be my father?”  My little boy clasped my hand. He was on his hospital bed down with pneumonia. His body was so pale and he looked almost lifeless. The past week had seen us out in the cold with nothing to neither eat nor cover ourselves up. I looked at him and my eyes squishy swelled with tears. He was a little boy and I did not want to lie to him neither did I want to keep the truth away from him. We had come a long way and this was not the point to ruin our relationship.

His father was my high school sweetheart. He impregnated me right after college admission. My dad being thunder did not want to hear anything about it. Someone had to be blamed and Mum had to take his entire wrath. He claimed that she did not raise me in what society termed ‘perfect’. As a result, I was sent out of home to fend for myself and my growing tummy. It was not easy. Everyone had an opinion about my morals but no one cared to take me in and give me the courage to face yet another day. I had to get two jobs just to keep him alive.

I went to him; he didn’t want to see me.

“I have a dream to chase and not you nor that thing you are carrying going to stop me”

“I will only provide a roof under your miserable head, nothing else”

Those were his words. I didn’t believe him until delivery time. I was alone. It felt cold and hopeless. God knows i had not bargained for that. Jealous eyes watched as people milled around other women in the maternity ward. I had no one by my side. I had to practically do everything for myself and the baby; save for well-wishers who would step in once in a while to help me out. It was helpful and I appreciated it, but it didn’t bring the closure that comes with family.  I longed for someone to hold my hand and tell me that it was going to be okay. I wanted reassurance that it was going to be fine but no one came.

My little one was born. He was the only company I had. He gave me peace and love only mothers understand. He was my imperative to live. We had been through a lot. We knew what it meant to sleep out in the cold, we knew how it felt to go without food and without doubt knew what it meant to be locked out of the house and how it felt for strangers to immediately take our place in what we once called home. Life certainly has an uncanny way of playing favorites.

He wanted an answer but I was not ready to pick a side. This was the man who gave him life and was without doubt determined to take it out of him.